For the curious, he ultimately attended NYU.
Children trust me. If you are funny, write a funny essay; if you are serious, write a serious essay. The Power of the Mighty Trombone I was unable to discern whether or not this one actually happened or whether it's just an urban legend — but I'm willing to bet it's the latter.
I have performed several covert operations with the CIA.
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Good luck! Oh, and for anyone who's waiting on their acceptance letters?